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A good few years ago some guy invented a website called The Facebook. Originally only used by Harvard students as an alternative, online version of the old "face books" handed out by universities to help students get to know one another, it wasn't long before it was expanded to all universities. Pretty soon that expanded to just Everyone Ever. About 500 Million people are now on Facebook. What originally started as Facemash, a Hot or Not clone using hacked and stolen dorm ID pictures of Harvard students has become one of the most used websites on the planet. Predictably, this pisses me off.
You've all heard the privacy problems, heard about workers getting fired for having the wrong groups or saying some stupid things or posting dumb pictures, heard the stories about people losing jobs or even being straight out actually killed cause of Facebook. I'll save you the age old arguments there. I trust all of you are smart enough to not end up dead cause you left your address and working hours on Facebook along with a detailed description of the best and worst ways to break in.
The reason I really dislike Facebook is manifold, its censorship of critical subjects, lack of customer support and H-h-hilarious views on your right to not be sold like a Thai bride being just some of the many many issues that the site has. They seem like a decent place to start;
Censorship. That can't be right? Surely Facebook allows people to spread messages quicker and get news and ideas out into the open, why, just look at how many people join those petition and all the good they do (none). Well you're wrong, again, damn why do you even bother. you big stupid ape. In February 2010 Facebook deleted every group that had anything to do with the Democratic Alliance for the Betterment and Progress of Hong Kong. No reason was given The groups were later restored and Facebook said it was "due to opposing members flagging the groups". In May they deleted the group for a radio station that posted some critical comments about Facebook and linked to an article about why Leo Laporte deleted his account. Small fries maybe, but there were no repercussions for this censorship, just as they wont be for any future ones. I realise Facebook is technically a private service and are allowed to do whatever they please, but deleting accounts cause they said mean things sounds almost so childish I can hardly believe it.
These articles highlight one fact that you should always remember. Facebook owns your ass, they own everything you post and everything you say. they own your address, email, real name and phone number. The can, do and will sell all of this to whoever has enough cash, they are in many ways a bigass mailing list. Course, what other mailing list lets you send your friends pokes and show everyone the pics of you getting mad wasted? As if that wasn't bad enough, Facebook boasts Paypal as a major shareholder. You may know of Paypal as the big online NotBank famous for screwing everyone and selling everyone's details all the god damn time. If you have no idea why an online NotBank having access to every bit of info about your life is a bad idea well I guess you're probably a happier person than me.
Facebook's customer service is non-existent. I can't really describe it in any other terms while maintaining my impeccable journalistic integrity. Much of its reporting facilities are automated and scripted. For example, imagine you stumble upon a profile that has nudity in the profile picture. You hit the report button on the page and file a complaint for nudity. What we'd like to imagine is that one of the administrators of the website has a look and decided what the best course of action is. Unfortunately that isn't always the case. There have been many many cases of people ebing banned for posting reports. This ban is automatic. This is just one of the nigh infinite ways you can be banned from Facebook.
Facebook's legal history is more that a bit murky too. There have been a handful of times when the website has been sued by others for intellectual copyright theft. I have yet to find strong evidence either way on this subject, but Facebook has never been cleared by law, only by out of court settlements, of which I am always weary of. I'm not saying here that all or any of those cases are true, but they warrant notice.
As one final note. Facebook has a very long history of being dishonest with its terms of service agreement. This is basically a contract you sign by using the service. A while ago there was a brouhaha about the terms when it was found that Facebook has the right to hold all of your stuff, forever, and do whatever they like with them. This started a large domino effect leading to the new "democratic" system they are implementing. There is, unsurprisingly, problems with that as well.
I'm not saying "Do Not Use Facebook". Though it may look that way cause I've just been a cock this whole article. All I'm asking is to think about what services you use. Facebook has many benefits, millions of people connect each day in ways that would be impossible otherwise. Just two weeks ago I helped my Granddad find some old guy he knew 60 years ago. Turned out the guy was dead but thats hardly the point. On the other hand (the massive, overused hand that we've been on this whole article) you only need look for a second before finding pages of complaints and disgruntled users. The question, I suppose, is "Is it worth it?" And the answer is No stop using that shitty site.
-Nems
Book 9 - Towing Jehovah by James Morrow
God dies and the angels charge the captain of a supertanker with transporting the body to its tomb in the Arctic.
The first book in a trilogy concerning the aftermath of God's actual literal death. It mainly focuses on the voyage of the supertanker, carrying its massive cargo behind it through some pretty horrible and interesting situations. Regular readers will know this kind of strange and bizarre plot and concept is exactly what I love, I wasnt disappointed.
At every turn in the book the world seems to get more and more bizarre. From the strange appearing island made of human trash and an ex-pagan civilisation, to the World War 2 re-enactment society, hell-bent on the destruction of God's corpse. By the end it was almost too out there.
The book of course isn't really about some guys towing Gods corpse. its about what it means to be an atheist, what it means to be a Christian and why sometimes both of those are horrible things. Its about life in a world where religion is quickly becoming less and less relevant. It is, at its heart a satire of both sides of the argument.
The hardcore atheist characters in the book are painted with the same brush as The Vatican as single minded foolish characters. One main gripe I had with the book concerns these characters however, at times (alot) they come off as extreme straw-men, walking parodies of themselves. I'm aware that was sort of the point but it detracted from an otherwise well written satire.
The book isn't perfect, not even close. The writing is jumpy at times, sometimes making it hard to remember where people are, what they are doing and whoy. At times its silly, at others its far too serious about itself. But it does manage to entertain while also making you think about yourself and the world we live in.
The first book in a trilogy concerning the aftermath of God's actual literal death. It mainly focuses on the voyage of the supertanker, carrying its massive cargo behind it through some pretty horrible and interesting situations. Regular readers will know this kind of strange and bizarre plot and concept is exactly what I love, I wasnt disappointed.
At every turn in the book the world seems to get more and more bizarre. From the strange appearing island made of human trash and an ex-pagan civilisation, to the World War 2 re-enactment society, hell-bent on the destruction of God's corpse. By the end it was almost too out there.
The book of course isn't really about some guys towing Gods corpse. its about what it means to be an atheist, what it means to be a Christian and why sometimes both of those are horrible things. Its about life in a world where religion is quickly becoming less and less relevant. It is, at its heart a satire of both sides of the argument.
The hardcore atheist characters in the book are painted with the same brush as The Vatican as single minded foolish characters. One main gripe I had with the book concerns these characters however, at times (alot) they come off as extreme straw-men, walking parodies of themselves. I'm aware that was sort of the point but it detracted from an otherwise well written satire.
The book isn't perfect, not even close. The writing is jumpy at times, sometimes making it hard to remember where people are, what they are doing and whoy. At times its silly, at others its far too serious about itself. But it does manage to entertain while also making you think about yourself and the world we live in.
Book 8 - Speaker for the Dead by Orson Scott Card
Sequel to Ender's game, 3000 years after the events of the first book, Ender travels to a planet which is home to the Piggies, the first intelligent lifeforms humanity has found since the Xenocide.
The first Ender book is a hard sci-fi space war book, with mild philosophical musings on childhood, warfare and humanity. The sequel is the latter cranked up to 10. The story starts with Ender being called for to "Speak" the death of a Xenobologist on the planet Lustina. It explains that in the 3 millennia since Ender wiped out the Buggers, humanity has embraced their tale, wrote by ender himself, and have great sorrow for the actions of the past. Ender himself is hated almost universally. Almost everyone knows Ender must be dead by now though. Through this, a new quasi-religion has sprung up. It involves Speakers, men and women who come and learn about a recently dead person, then "Speak" for them, telling their life as they lived it, without trying to condemn or condone them.
Scott writes fantstically, creating characters that are at once flawed, broken people with tragedies and terrible lives, and at the same time wonderful, likeable even lovable. Ender himself is portrayed as both a master at the art of interaction and reading people, yet one of the most powerful parts in the book relate to him losing a dear friend, due to his misunderstanding.
The book muses on what Humanity is, what makes us human, why and how we hate each other and fear each other. It draws some interesting ideas and doesn't disappoint in taking them to their conclusion. I really enjoyed this book, more than I thought I'd enjoy it. I'm really enjoying the series as a whole and I suggest it to anyone looking for a good sci-fi story.
The first Ender book is a hard sci-fi space war book, with mild philosophical musings on childhood, warfare and humanity. The sequel is the latter cranked up to 10. The story starts with Ender being called for to "Speak" the death of a Xenobologist on the planet Lustina. It explains that in the 3 millennia since Ender wiped out the Buggers, humanity has embraced their tale, wrote by ender himself, and have great sorrow for the actions of the past. Ender himself is hated almost universally. Almost everyone knows Ender must be dead by now though. Through this, a new quasi-religion has sprung up. It involves Speakers, men and women who come and learn about a recently dead person, then "Speak" for them, telling their life as they lived it, without trying to condemn or condone them.
Scott writes fantstically, creating characters that are at once flawed, broken people with tragedies and terrible lives, and at the same time wonderful, likeable even lovable. Ender himself is portrayed as both a master at the art of interaction and reading people, yet one of the most powerful parts in the book relate to him losing a dear friend, due to his misunderstanding.
The book muses on what Humanity is, what makes us human, why and how we hate each other and fear each other. It draws some interesting ideas and doesn't disappoint in taking them to their conclusion. I really enjoyed this book, more than I thought I'd enjoy it. I'm really enjoying the series as a whole and I suggest it to anyone looking for a good sci-fi story.
Book 7 - Confederacy of Dunces by John kennedy Tool
Absolute asshole, Ignatius, blunders through New Orleans, destroying lives and businesses as he goes.
I really am not one for the classics, I dont know what it is but you say something is a "classic" or part of the "canon" and it ends up being just a big let down. In a way thats what Confederacy was like for me. I'd read it was the funniest book ever written and I guess I didn't find the book VERY funny. There are moments in it that, once you spend a moment and visualise it, they are very funny, Ig as a character is a horrible bastard that you hate very soon, mostly because you probably know a Ignatius. he's the loud, obnoxious guy with "ideas" that will blow your mind. You know the one.
The characters are this books strong point. You probably know every single one of them in some way or another. The long suffering mother, the mothers harpy friends, the cynical business owner, etc etc. They all "feel" real. as does the city. New Orleans itself is the books main charcter and you really get a feel for the city itself.
It can be at times a bit of a slog but its a fairly fun read and I suggest you at least try it. If only to act superior to everyone else when they finally make the movie.
I really am not one for the classics, I dont know what it is but you say something is a "classic" or part of the "canon" and it ends up being just a big let down. In a way thats what Confederacy was like for me. I'd read it was the funniest book ever written and I guess I didn't find the book VERY funny. There are moments in it that, once you spend a moment and visualise it, they are very funny, Ig as a character is a horrible bastard that you hate very soon, mostly because you probably know a Ignatius. he's the loud, obnoxious guy with "ideas" that will blow your mind. You know the one.
The characters are this books strong point. You probably know every single one of them in some way or another. The long suffering mother, the mothers harpy friends, the cynical business owner, etc etc. They all "feel" real. as does the city. New Orleans itself is the books main charcter and you really get a feel for the city itself.
It can be at times a bit of a slog but its a fairly fun read and I suggest you at least try it. If only to act superior to everyone else when they finally make the movie.
Space is the coolest thing
A while ago, I was discussing human achievement with a group of friends. I brought up space travel, in my mind, space travel is probably one of the greatest things mankind has done so far. Basically everyone else responded by asking "Where’s the point?" huh.
Well, I know a lot of people are just dumb as heck so I put it off. Until I slowly realized basically everyone has this exact same outlook "Where’s the point". This was, to say the least, slightly disheartening. I love space, its my passion. What the hell is wrong with you backwards bastards? Ok, let me start by squaring away that one issue that keeps arising "Where is the point". Little do you know but NASA is basically responsible, in some way, for almost every single device you will use today. Starting with the most obvious, your keyboard, Mouse and even your computer itself are all the result of research and development by NASA. If you make a phone call today, or browse the web on your phone or use a GPS to find the shops near you, NASA is to thank for that. Oh well someone would have made those eventually, No, no they wouldn't have and even if they did, at least ONE of the following important discoveries and technologies would have slipped past their dumb earth brains;
• Pacemakers
• Bar Codes
• Smoke detectors
• Almost everything in an ambulance
• Cordless electronic tools
• Memory cloth
• Fuckin' baby food
• Water purification
• Solar Energy
• Cancer detection
Most of the devices up there have probably saved thousands of lives in the time its taken me to write this. And that’s just a small smattering of the 30,000 or so by products of the space race. Man they must have spent tons of cash on that right? Wrong you moron. They spent less than 1% of the national budget of the US on developing all that shit. That’s less than 1 cent for every dollar an American makes.
Its probably one of the best industries too, all that tech creates jobs and income and taxes for people and the government. It’s estimated that for every $1 spent on NASA, the US gets $7 back in the form of new jobs and taxes from those jobs. I mean screw taxes but that’s one hell of a return.
And just for you guys out there that don't get motivated by silly shit like "World shattering inventions" and "Devices that save millions of lives" or "taxes" what about the fact that exploration is the single greatest thing humanity does that separates us from animals? Since the dawn of time we've had brave, stupid or just hungry and lost people finding new, incredible land then fucking it up forever. For me, that’s what space is about. For less money than you will spend today on the cost of the electricity to heat up your hot pockets, humanity is going into the dark, scary world outside of the safety of our planet in the name of exploration and finding out cool shit.
Now that we have THAT out of the way, lets talk about all the cool stuff you get out of space travel.
The big one is asteroid mining. Boring sounding I know but asteroid mining is, literally, something that could save the entire planet and introduce a new golden age of humanity. Ok maybe that’s a bit much but follow me here.
You know how in space movies everyone always has whatever they want? I mean apart from like, Mad Max or anything else set in GRIMDARK, resources in these places are infinite, enough to build space stations the size of moons, to send craft all over the universe, establish worlds and build fantastic machines. Guess what? We already have that shit a couple of miles above your head. Above you are approximately 450 big rocks full of gold, iron, copper and whatever other raw materials you can imagine. By rocks I mean one of the closer ones is 2.5km in circumference and is made of gold.
I shouldn't really have to say any more "Massive rock made of gold" is probably enough for most anyone, but I'm insane, crazy and drunk with power so I'll go on. As well as being a gangster rapper's dream, the solid gold asteroid also holds massive amounts of other, useful stuff like tin and iron, which can be used to build MORE space stuff. Yes you earth people can have some of it too, seeing how its much easier and cheaper to drop stuff to earth than bring it up to space.
This builds into the next stage, colonization of space. Naaah nems, that shit is futurewacky stuff. Costs trillions and we dont have the tech.....oh we DO have the tech? and you can build it completely with space materials? Welp I guess I'll shut my big strawman-mouth then. woop-doop-de-woop.
In closing. Space is so kickass all the shit I just talked about for a page or so is stuff within an hours flight away from Earth. I didn't even touch on the stuff that’s just plain "cool" that naysayers would say "has no applicable benefits for mankind". If there’s one thing you should take away from this, its that we live in a time where, if they wanted to, we could have everything I just described within a decade of work. The tech is there, the profits are all up there, all we need is someone with the cash and the personality to get it going.
-Nems
P.S. just in case you were also thinking that cash has to be mountains of the stuff? I estimated that the whole project would cost less than $60 Billion. That sounds like a lot until you realize that the money you’d make back, and the jobs it would provide outdo that number tenfold.
Well, I know a lot of people are just dumb as heck so I put it off. Until I slowly realized basically everyone has this exact same outlook "Where’s the point". This was, to say the least, slightly disheartening. I love space, its my passion. What the hell is wrong with you backwards bastards? Ok, let me start by squaring away that one issue that keeps arising "Where is the point". Little do you know but NASA is basically responsible, in some way, for almost every single device you will use today. Starting with the most obvious, your keyboard, Mouse and even your computer itself are all the result of research and development by NASA. If you make a phone call today, or browse the web on your phone or use a GPS to find the shops near you, NASA is to thank for that. Oh well someone would have made those eventually, No, no they wouldn't have and even if they did, at least ONE of the following important discoveries and technologies would have slipped past their dumb earth brains;
• Pacemakers
• Bar Codes
• Smoke detectors
• Almost everything in an ambulance
• Cordless electronic tools
• Memory cloth
• Fuckin' baby food
• Water purification
• Solar Energy
• Cancer detection
Most of the devices up there have probably saved thousands of lives in the time its taken me to write this. And that’s just a small smattering of the 30,000 or so by products of the space race. Man they must have spent tons of cash on that right? Wrong you moron. They spent less than 1% of the national budget of the US on developing all that shit. That’s less than 1 cent for every dollar an American makes.
Its probably one of the best industries too, all that tech creates jobs and income and taxes for people and the government. It’s estimated that for every $1 spent on NASA, the US gets $7 back in the form of new jobs and taxes from those jobs. I mean screw taxes but that’s one hell of a return.
And just for you guys out there that don't get motivated by silly shit like "World shattering inventions" and "Devices that save millions of lives" or "taxes" what about the fact that exploration is the single greatest thing humanity does that separates us from animals? Since the dawn of time we've had brave, stupid or just hungry and lost people finding new, incredible land then fucking it up forever. For me, that’s what space is about. For less money than you will spend today on the cost of the electricity to heat up your hot pockets, humanity is going into the dark, scary world outside of the safety of our planet in the name of exploration and finding out cool shit.
Now that we have THAT out of the way, lets talk about all the cool stuff you get out of space travel.
The big one is asteroid mining. Boring sounding I know but asteroid mining is, literally, something that could save the entire planet and introduce a new golden age of humanity. Ok maybe that’s a bit much but follow me here.
You know how in space movies everyone always has whatever they want? I mean apart from like, Mad Max or anything else set in GRIMDARK, resources in these places are infinite, enough to build space stations the size of moons, to send craft all over the universe, establish worlds and build fantastic machines. Guess what? We already have that shit a couple of miles above your head. Above you are approximately 450 big rocks full of gold, iron, copper and whatever other raw materials you can imagine. By rocks I mean one of the closer ones is 2.5km in circumference and is made of gold.
I shouldn't really have to say any more "Massive rock made of gold" is probably enough for most anyone, but I'm insane, crazy and drunk with power so I'll go on. As well as being a gangster rapper's dream, the solid gold asteroid also holds massive amounts of other, useful stuff like tin and iron, which can be used to build MORE space stuff. Yes you earth people can have some of it too, seeing how its much easier and cheaper to drop stuff to earth than bring it up to space.
This builds into the next stage, colonization of space. Naaah nems, that shit is futurewacky stuff. Costs trillions and we dont have the tech.....oh we DO have the tech? and you can build it completely with space materials? Welp I guess I'll shut my big strawman-mouth then. woop-doop-de-woop.
In closing. Space is so kickass all the shit I just talked about for a page or so is stuff within an hours flight away from Earth. I didn't even touch on the stuff that’s just plain "cool" that naysayers would say "has no applicable benefits for mankind". If there’s one thing you should take away from this, its that we live in a time where, if they wanted to, we could have everything I just described within a decade of work. The tech is there, the profits are all up there, all we need is someone with the cash and the personality to get it going.
Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. - Carl Sagan
-Nems
P.S. just in case you were also thinking that cash has to be mountains of the stuff? I estimated that the whole project would cost less than $60 Billion. That sounds like a lot until you realize that the money you’d make back, and the jobs it would provide outdo that number tenfold.
Book 6 - Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson
A timeless tale about the monster within us all, the perils of indulgence and friendship.
What can be said, its a classic. Its very very well written, perfectly paced and the characters are all fantastic people. For those who haven't read it, do so. Its not what you may think, the actual structure of the book is mostly the account of Jekyll's best friend, a lawyer named Utterson. One thing I found was that the book was still as thrilling and interesting today as it was when it was written.
While you all know the book is about the duality of human nature, I think one part of it that is missed is the way the book deal with friendship. Jekyll's friends are the ones telling the story for the most part and you get an intense feeling of love they have for their friend and the terrible fear they have for him when things start going wrong. Its not the main focus of the book, not even nearly, but its important enough that it made me think.
Read this, its only 100 pages or so and its famous literally because people who didn't read started reading because of this book.
What can be said, its a classic. Its very very well written, perfectly paced and the characters are all fantastic people. For those who haven't read it, do so. Its not what you may think, the actual structure of the book is mostly the account of Jekyll's best friend, a lawyer named Utterson. One thing I found was that the book was still as thrilling and interesting today as it was when it was written.
While you all know the book is about the duality of human nature, I think one part of it that is missed is the way the book deal with friendship. Jekyll's friends are the ones telling the story for the most part and you get an intense feeling of love they have for their friend and the terrible fear they have for him when things start going wrong. Its not the main focus of the book, not even nearly, but its important enough that it made me think.
Read this, its only 100 pages or so and its famous literally because people who didn't read started reading because of this book.
Book 5 - Down and out in the Magic Kingdom by Cory Doctorow
Immortal SuperFuture tale of intrigue set in Disney World.
This books premise is so nuts its difficult to actually type it. I'll do my best. It is THE FUTURE and people can now live forever via a bizarre cloning process that leaves you with whatever memories you had at the time of your last backup. The world has changed fundamentally and the book takes place in Disney World, now considered one of the greatest works of the 20th century. For some reason.
Superfuture in Disney land was enough for me to grab a free copy from the authors site, but it didn't live up to what it was aiming for. While I'm not pissed off at it or anything, it just felt like its messages and commentary on the human condition were a little empty. God knows it tries hard, but in the ocean of unexplained, difficult to understand concepts, and silly names, This book was basically a big pile of neat ideas (the idea that the currency in the world is based solely on what other people think of you) jumbled together into a silly plot that takes itself far too seriously.
At times I felt like I was missing something, like there was a big idea just under the layer I was reading at. There are parts of the book that are genuinely exciting, fun and thought provoking, so it succeeds there. I guess I was mostly annoyed that it didn't keep that up through the book.
Its free, so go look it up if you like the concept. Just be prepared for endless pages of flashbacks and the word Whuffie alot.
This books premise is so nuts its difficult to actually type it. I'll do my best. It is THE FUTURE and people can now live forever via a bizarre cloning process that leaves you with whatever memories you had at the time of your last backup. The world has changed fundamentally and the book takes place in Disney World, now considered one of the greatest works of the 20th century. For some reason.
Superfuture in Disney land was enough for me to grab a free copy from the authors site, but it didn't live up to what it was aiming for. While I'm not pissed off at it or anything, it just felt like its messages and commentary on the human condition were a little empty. God knows it tries hard, but in the ocean of unexplained, difficult to understand concepts, and silly names, This book was basically a big pile of neat ideas (the idea that the currency in the world is based solely on what other people think of you) jumbled together into a silly plot that takes itself far too seriously.
At times I felt like I was missing something, like there was a big idea just under the layer I was reading at. There are parts of the book that are genuinely exciting, fun and thought provoking, so it succeeds there. I guess I was mostly annoyed that it didn't keep that up through the book.
Its free, so go look it up if you like the concept. Just be prepared for endless pages of flashbacks and the word Whuffie alot.
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