Quit Being Dicks

For the past couple million years, there's been some animosity toward "outsiders". I think its always been there as long as animals has congregated in groups. Being suspicious of newcomers is just something creatures do. It keeps predators away and you never know when that new guy is going to turn out to be a no good double crossing Lion.

So my usual response of "WHhhhhhhhyyyy" doesn't really work too well when applied to the topics of immigration and xenophobia. I understand why people are scared of horrible invaders from outside coming and stealing all the jobs, women, government benefits and whatever else the tabloids accuse them of. But that doesn't make the argument any less bananas.

Standing against immigration is probably the dumbest thing you can do as a human being. This is really one of the topics that shakes my core as a humanist. To imagine enough of my fellow human beings are ignorant or evil enough to stand in the way of their own countries progress for some pathetic tribalism? It tests me. I'm getting ahead of myself here, Let me compose myself and we can begin.

Immigration is a touchy subject. There are many factors at play. Some of these factors are imagined and feed to you by mass media, some are real and need to be addressed. On top of all that, there's racial aspects to consider, jobs, the list goes on. I'm not an expert, but I like to pretend to be one on the internet, which is good enough.

Just for a start, lets begin with Jobs. This is a huge concern I hear a lot when I'm in America. That waves of Mexicans are flooding the country and stealing all the jobs for themselves, then sending the money they earn into Mexico, thus DESTROYING THE ENTIRE FOUNDATION OF HUMANITY. This to me poses some interesting questions. First of all being, who's jobs are being lost to this vile plague, exactly? Its not the middle or upper classes that's for damn sure. I can't see many illegal aliens entering the country with collage degrees and a full work resume. I honestly can not envision a situation where skilled jobs go to an untrained guy who just crossed the border.

Logically this leaves lower class jobs. Drivers, basic unskilled work, that sort of thing. Ok I can see this being an issue because our hypothetical Mexican might work for much less than our hypothetical American. However the blame here is misplaced, rather than blaming the penniless Mexican who needs a job to support his family, why not blame the richass guys hiring him? Presuming our Hypothetical American lost his job directly because a Mexican would do it for cheaper, that seems like the bosses fault, rather than the Mexicans. He'd do the same if an American would do it cheaper I'm sure.

Maybe the concern is that there are limited jobs and by having too many outsiders, you strain the job market by introducing too much completion and so on. This isn't a good thing? I mean competition encourages growth, why not just be the better candidate? I mean hell the Hypothetical Mexican is already starting on a handicap, given his hypothetical ethnicity.

I get that life isn't always so black and white. Maybe the American has a family to feed and needs his shitty factory workers job to live. Maybe he loses it cause some Mexican guy will do it for dirt. That's shit, its horrible and can destroy lives but as I've said. Its not the fault of the Mexican. Hes just some guy looking to earn some cash same as the Hypothetical American. Its the guys that run the factory, their bosses that are to blame.

The world is currently in a very weird place when it comes to immigration. Its almost at the point where you're just screaming at people you think MIGHT not be from around here. Oh wait. With media fueled anger against so called "terrorists" and invaders and interlopers, every single country on earth is on edge, keeping an eye out for vaguely "not from round 'ere" types, ever vigilant lest they deflower our fair lands and crumble our infrastructure.


Lets compare the two main powerhouses of the world right now. The US and Europe. The fear in the US (and everywhere else really) is that if you allow other people into your country, all the jobs go, culture becomes dissipated and all kinds of other utterly mental arguments. As if by simply allowing people to work and live where they want to, you undermine the very tenements of the economy (These people obviously don't understand economics very well). This is all well and good if it wasn't for the fact that Europe has had open borders in regards to work for the past 10 years and is currently the most culturally diverse continent on earth with some of the highest standards of living in the world. To clear that up, The EU allows anyone from any EU country to work in any other EU country, provided they have a valid passport. Reports that Paris is consumed in the fires of anarchy are, as yet, unfounded.

Speaking of which, there is one final argument that makes no fucking sense that I feel obliged to type endlessly about. The so called Culture Clash that "proves" people should just stay where they are. This may seem like a pretty solid argument. Just last month we had literally tens of insane Americans storming a clothing warehouse to try and stop a community center being built because Glenn Beck told them to. Before that we had literally ten fundamentalist Muslims going apeshit over some danish political cartoons. You may notice something funny here, In the first case, a bunch of fat old white dudes are going nuts over a harmless thing that has a religion attached to it. In the second, a bunch of old fat brown dudes are going nuts over a harmless thing that has a religion attached to it. No one really took the mosque people seriously, no one acted as if that was the entire of America's stance on the subject. Hell even the president came out to say "Quit being dicks guys." Its exactly the same with the Islamic protests.

The message here is that there is no "clash of culture". It doesn't prove that humans should stay with their own tribes. The only proof on show here is that there are idiots, fundamentalists and nutjobs from everywhere. There are Middle eastern nutjobs, there's American nutjobs, there's European nutjobs, Asian nutjobs and when we find them, probably a whole lot of alien nutjobs too. Given any number of people, you're gonna find a couple nutters. That's just how life goes.

The only difference between this;

And This;

is the color of their skin. I guess only one of them are capitalizing on the victims of a tragedy to further a political campaign but lets not get into that.

Lastly I want to talk about integration. Its a large part of what people idiotic self-centered morons without a single intelligent thought think about when they worry about immigrants. Will they integrate into our society? The short answer is yes, given education and encouragement. The evidence is, yet again, all over the place. You only need to look at Universities all over the world to see different cultures and peoples working together and forming their own cultures. The real issue is education. People complain that phone lines and menus and signs are in Urdu as well as English in England (mostly the aforementioned nutjobs) and then in the same breath complain that "they" don't try to learn English. It sounds like madness but how in gods name are you supposed to integrate into a culture and society if the society and culture is impenetrable? Efforts such as phone lines being in English, free English classes and further education programs for immigrants allows them to integrate properly, to share their culture and become more than residents, it allows them to become citizens. You want all the menus and phone lines in English only? All you do is segregate and create isolated groups. This is basic social dynamics. I'm literally getting angry just writing that cause it's hardly fucking rocket science that if you put 50 people in a room, tell 48 of them to only speak french and 2 to speak Russian, The 2 speaking Russian will, 9/10, segregate and isolate themselves.

Really, honestly, all this is moot. The kind of people this is aimed at don't care about rational problems, they don't care about real issues that arise from immigration (of which there are a few). They just want "Them" away from their precious tribe. I know the message of this article is Hate Breeds Hate. But Fuck them. They stand in the way of progress, actively dragging humanity down by their shear hatred and bigotry. Its our duty, not as Americans, or as Europeans or whatever, but as human beings, to kick them in their stupid faces and drag them into the future.

I really hope I've been clear in this article. Its really a simple message and numbers agree with me. Countries work better when they open their borders. the evidence is everywhere, in history with the development of the united states, in Europe now, everywhere. You just have to ignore the nutjobs and put some thought into it. Of course, if all I did was ignore the nutjobs, I'd never write anything.

Exteremism and Stupidity, Younger than you'd think Pt.1: Islamic Extremism

LOOK OUT! ITS A BROWN PERSON! FROM THE MIDDLE EAST! ITS A TERRORIST!! RUUUUUN!!!

I hear that from pretty much every news channel basically 24/7. So being the bright man I am I decided to find out exactly who these "terrorists" are and why they want to blow me up and steal my kids. And because I also like positive reenforcement from a buntch of annonymous internet people, I think I'll share my findings with you.

The Terrorists, as the news likes to refer to them, are, for now, Muslim exteremists, You know the kind, woman stoning hand cutting off bastards who steal our planes and kidnap news reporters and the like. You would be forgiven for assuming these guys have been around forever, really, thats fine, I did too. What might shock you is that they have been around for less than 70 years, by one or two guys. Just because I like making you guys work, I'll talk about the first guy, you guys can find the rest.

Sayyid Qutb was a critic at heart. Untill sometime in the 1950s he took a trip around the US, and, as critics are want to do, he got angry. He was angry at what he saw as an evil empire, where the people were corrupt and decadent, where the country itself was falling appart and spreading its influence as it did. This line of thinking happened to coincide with some of the darkest times in America's history so far, the war just ended an all, prohibition, rioting and so on.

Now this wouldnt be so bad if, at the time, the US wasnt the biggest guy around. I know today its similer, America is this huge giant that sort of blunders around, wrecking loads of shit, but back then the UN wasnt really a power, the world still thought in the terms of East v West. So Qutb declared his hate for the entire West, after seeing the US. He hated everything that came with the West, democracy, nationalism, but mostly what he saw as the decadence and commercialism.

So he says "Fuck that" and goes home to Egypt, only to find his world had already started changing into the west he so despised. And because he hated what his country had become and the goverment of egypt was "west friendly" to say the least, he was arrested. While in captivity he was also tortured. If its one thing life has taught me, its this: If you have some crazy guys that hate something, unless your name is O'Brien, Dont fucking torture them you idiot.

As it turns out, having your balls bitten off by a dog will do loads to radicalise a guy, so our man gets to work, writes a book called "Signposts" that attacks the government, accusing it of being unmuslim and explaining that, due to them being unmuslim, killing them is tops. The book painted the world in black and white, with Qutb as the Good guy and the west as the worst of the worst.

Sayyid gets out of jail, and a couple of years later is the head of a group know as the Muslim Brotherhood. in 1966 he was hung and died.

Unfortunatly, before that he taught someone called Dr Ayman Al-Zawahiri, who in turn taught everyone's favourite cave dweller, Osama Bin Laden.

I want to go on about hos Muslims are smart, and at one point where the one shining light of civilisation in the world during the Dark Ages, but I honestly dont know enough on that subject.

Next time we're gonna take a look at where those ancient gods of Wicca come from. Because I fucking hate wiccans.

World Ending, Hurrah.

I don't really have any investigative stuff to post here, only some basless assumptions and ideas that may be wrong and sound VERY SCARY so maybe it will attract some attention because I love attention.

A couple days ago the British government decided to ground and ban all flights to Yemen. This followed a "terrorist" that, as Tim Key put it, Blew his balls off. Based on some tenuous links that the man was from Yemen, thats apparently reason enough to completely cut off the country.

Some (all 4 of you) may know where I stand in regards to British foreign policy (and basically all British policy ever), for those that don't (Hello!) it can be summed up in the words "I" "Dont" "Like" "It". So I may be biased, oh well, I don't claim to be a paragon of integrity or an unbiased news source and this blog is just a tube I like to yell into and piss and whine so lets not get caught up in that.

So now you can't get to there from here, aside from the problems I see this causing the Yemen people, does no one else see how unbelievably unfair this is? We never closed the airports to Leeds, or Bradford or Jamaica when the last group of mentals tried (and succeeded that time) in blowing a bunch of people into bits. Maybe because those places arn't deserts filled with brown people.

I have avoided mentioning the obvious till now though. The upcoming war against Yemen. Just another desert for us to bomb into glass I suppose. Except its not, Yemen is unequivocally one of the most beautiful places in the world. Here let me show you;

Look at that, look at the green, I know the buildings look kinda shoddy but I'm not here to do the work for you, go look up the incredible buildings and palaces in the country for yourselves. Then say goodbye to them because they (might) be gone very soon.

(as a very quick aside Iraq, Afghanistan and all of the other middle east countries we've went to "war" with are full of beautiful, breathtaking sights, but I know people from Yemen and none from Iraq and complaining about the Iraq war is now passée. I'm trying to go big-time here people)

With that out of the way, lets try and discern the real reason for a potential bloodbath in Yemen. It has oil, all though very little and the country is currently shitting itself as it runs out, so it can't be that. No real resources of importance to us. Oh wait, thats right, Its another boogeyman target for you to hurl hatred and abuse at because its got terrorists and we're the valiant good guys who need to slay this improbable beast.

I'm being a cock here, I'm being your typical smelly collage protester by suggesting we'd go to war or cut off contact with a country just to keep the populace scared, but in honesty I see no other reason for it. If you can, answers on a postcard to the usual address.

I certainly can't wait to destroy another rich group of people for no reason other than too keep people scared. I look forward to the rolling news coverage, the useless protests, the massive increase in military spending (US already spends most of its budget on military, enough to pay off the national debt infact, the UK is not too shabby either, spending about $60 Billion on guns to shoot brown people with. For those that need a visual representation, thats about 40 nuclear power plants, enough to run the entire country off. Forever)

Go team.