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As most of you know, I go to Teesside university. I study a computing subject there. Most of my classes take place in the School of Computing, the single most underfunded part of the uni with the possible exception of the punching bag in the gym.
To give some of you an idea of how insanely underfunded my part of the uni is, let me try and explain how my uni is set up. We have a number of buildings, each of which has a "supposed" purpose. The Olympia is the lecture hall, with loads of lecture theatres and only a handful of work rooms. In reality pretty much every building is a General Purpose one, Except the bigass media building we have full to the brim with new and amazing technologies, a cafe, a couple thousand big screen TVs and what seems to be a quadrillion rooms filled with the most powerful computers my tuition can buy.
Now I'm not really complaining about this, the media and video games design portions are Teessides' specialities, its why we got the University of the Year this (or last) year. Yeah its kinda shit that my money goes toward stuff that I will never use and literally can't even enter the rooms containing the stuff, but whatevs, its computers and hardware and hurfffff.
No what I am pissed about is how much of my money goes toward 2 things; the "Therapy" stuff (that they also charge for) and the (lack of) facilities in the Students Union.
I think its pretty obvious that I'm not the kind of guy who believes in "alternative theropies" so, last week when an email arrived in my inbox happily telling me of the special offers on theorpy sessions in the Health area of the gym, I was not best pleased. I was so unpleased I even went out of my way to contact the people who run this stuff and ask about it. I hav't heard back from them. The Candle wax treatment must be fucking with their sense of hearing I guess.
Meanwhile, at the gym in the uni, you cant get a pair of punching gloves, the machines are damaged and there's very little support. Its insane. I've recently found we actually have an entire floor dedicated to this horrible shit. Why? What place does this have in the uni? Why am I paying for it? Why can't my money go toward something imporant?
Such as entertainment and proper usage of the Student union, for example. For those that don't know, the SU at Teesside is a bar. Its a small pub with a cafe and a cash machine and a small area where people harass me about joining Islam or the drama club or the anime club rejects bother me about their "pirate society". and theres a shop.
There is, however, a very very minimal amount of stuff for people who don't want to just drink all the god damn time. I get it, you guys are students, you want to have fun, whatever, thats cool. Theres some bars litterally 20 feet away from the uni. Knock yourselves out. But I can't hire a single part of the "Students Union" for the purposes of societies or clubs. The people at the students union (for example, the financial support) are completely useless and every thing else is aimed at sports. Which, I suppose, brings me to another point.
Sports. Hey guys, do you like sports? No? Well fuck you. We have no less than 2 sports buildings, 3 if you count the several outdoor football pitches we have. These buildings contain tons of shit that is sololy used by sports students or the "ELITE ATHLETES" program people. Just a heads up, nothing against you guys. You guys are the most helpful people in the world in the gyma nd I apperciate all your help and admire your abilities but hey maybe instead of another football pitch we can have a vending machine in the SCM building yeah?
Could be worse I guess. I could be a drama student here.
Kremploch tournament went well.
If you believe this barbaric sport can go "well" at all.
Another year another Kremploch tournament over.Thanks to my village's champion wining we're allowed internet for the next couple days. Courtesy of the Black Sails. Let me ask you something. Am I the only one who is getting sick of seeing our nations athletes cut up?
2 score and 2 years ago, my farther came to this village with a desire to farm, raise some sheep and adhere the the great one's almighty plan. We fled the battles of the Black Sails and began a simpler life here in Britain. what we did not expect was Kremploch.
And I am sick of it.
Another year another Kremploch tournament over.Thanks to my village's champion wining we're allowed internet for the next couple days. Courtesy of the Black Sails. Let me ask you something. Am I the only one who is getting sick of seeing our nations athletes cut up?
2 score and 2 years ago, my farther came to this village with a desire to farm, raise some sheep and adhere the the great one's almighty plan. We fled the battles of the Black Sails and began a simpler life here in Britain. what we did not expect was Kremploch.
And I am sick of it.
Zarr'thx lying to us again!.
I told you this would happen.
Looks like Zart'thx is fucking us again people. last year he promised to keep trade routes with the alpha quadrant open, you may remember his rousing speech on Titan. The one where he promised the take over was "temporary" and "for your own good". Well back then I said he was a liar and now I'm proven right.
Yes today the great galactic commander and conquer of a million suns has locked us in a space field. What the fuck is that? How does he get off on this bullshit?
According to his press release:
"Today I have decided to close all contact with the rest of the galaxy. This includes the Alpha Quadrant. I realise that this may upset some of you but I assure you it is best for you in the Beta Quadrant."
Now where the hell are we supposed to get our supply of Karlank materials to power our Flack drives? Not that it matters I supposed, now that we're all trapped on this worthless hole of a space.
Its time to fight back people. I'm sick of this Reptiles shit. I told you all that his entire race were a group of intergalactic locusts, and it looks like someone in Alpha agreed with me, and now we're all alone, no army, no Karlank materials, no Coca Cola. I hope you're happy with yourself Urth.
I hope you're happy with yourself.
Looks like Zart'thx is fucking us again people. last year he promised to keep trade routes with the alpha quadrant open, you may remember his rousing speech on Titan. The one where he promised the take over was "temporary" and "for your own good". Well back then I said he was a liar and now I'm proven right.
Yes today the great galactic commander and conquer of a million suns has locked us in a space field. What the fuck is that? How does he get off on this bullshit?
According to his press release:
"Today I have decided to close all contact with the rest of the galaxy. This includes the Alpha Quadrant. I realise that this may upset some of you but I assure you it is best for you in the Beta Quadrant."
Now where the hell are we supposed to get our supply of Karlank materials to power our Flack drives? Not that it matters I supposed, now that we're all trapped on this worthless hole of a space.
Its time to fight back people. I'm sick of this Reptiles shit. I told you all that his entire race were a group of intergalactic locusts, and it looks like someone in Alpha agreed with me, and now we're all alone, no army, no Karlank materials, no Coca Cola. I hope you're happy with yourself Urth.
I hope you're happy with yourself.
Easter Bunny Flowers.
First start with the container. I used a simple basket but you could you practically anything.Then take some floral foam and some water. Pour the water directly onto the foam. Now you are ready to begin arranging. I've used tulips and a bundle of lime stems here, neatly decorated by some free range eggs. I've also got some daffodils in there and some reindeer moss.
For the rabbits you can kill and stuff a real rabbit for the best effect. I recommend a bow and arrow or slingshot for the hunt, as it will do much less damage than a rifle shot. After you have the dead creature, I highly suggest taking it to a taxidermy. If you can not afford this however, thats ok. Simply take 3 handfuls of sawdust and begin inserting it into the corpse via any orifice.
And now you have your own Easter themed basket! Congratulations!.
How the Pirates Stole Christmas
A good couple years ago I used to know some people who were involved in the whole, internet downloading scene. The guy I knew was pretty low down but through him (and since him, through my own research and interest in the subject) I have gained a fairly decent image of how your Handicam version of Avatar gets to you. I've asked a couple people and they said an article about this would be interesting, so in the interest of pandering to the 2 people who read my blarrrgh, here’s some info about some pretty rad guys.
I'd just like to preface this by saying most of the info within (if not all by now) is easily found on the net. Despite some myths and what you may first thing, the scene is fairly open and transparent.
The Scene has been around for as long as there have been ways to distribute digital information to and from people. With odd naming schemes and bizarre collections of rules and regulations they can seem a scary, sometimes evil group of shady people, out to ruin movies and music for us all.In order to really understand what the scene is and what it does we're going to go back to the 1980s. It was here that the beginnings of what would become the scene formed. Groups of young talented coders would crack the security on games and later applications; upload them to a BBS (a primitive version of a web forum) for all to download for free.
At the time there were no rules and no real information for anyone outside of the scene, only the included nfo file (an antiquated file type that is underused now, but is still used for traditional reasons in the scene), which often included stunning ASCII artwork. Also routinely included would be midi files or artwork.It was a much more innocent time, games and apps were traded freely, there was no formal structure and groups ran wild. Slowly however the scene became more organized, rules were drafted and eventually hard Communities were established. Essentially there is one community per "thing" you can imagine downloading, from the Scanner groups, uploading comic pages, to Movie groups. Each community has its own set of rules and regulations both to protect them and to ensure quality releases. As bizarre as it may seem there actually exists committees and tribunals for the sole purpose of working out these rules and declaring releases good or "nuked" (Nuked meaning its trash or breaks one of the rules somehow).
Eventually of course the scene caught the eye of the FBI and other law enforcement and in a series of devastating raids was cut down. Many of the more prominent groups were targeted and taken out. People being People though, the scene quickly grew back to its original size and then some, however the scars from those raids still show, with the scene being much more secretive now than it used to be.
UPDATE: I'll just add everything here, its not a very long update so no point adding another post when there's no point.
Now, the scene is actually also split up into different mediums too. Most of the higher up groups belong to what they see as the true Scene, a series of secert high speed websites (known as TopSites) where files are uploaded and downloaded on a kind of novel credits system, where every megabyte you uploaded allows you to download 3.
"below" these are a series of less elitist groups, refereed to usually as P2P groups, due to the medium of their releases. Occasionally a group will be found of either leaking Scene releases to the P2P groups or even copying releases wholesale. This usually results in humiliation for the group in question. Why a group would leak something varies from group to group, it can range from simply not agreeing with the Scene rules to antagonism between groups.
There are other, less well understood and published groups, such as groups that post only to Rapidshare and the like. These fit somewhere in the P2P groups depending on who you ask.
As you can see, the medium that you download with is tied to where you stand on the hierarchy, with P2P being the worst and the elite TopSites being the best. Your average downloader will never see a TopSite their entire life (I certainly haven't, only in screenshots) and will probably not even know they exist. This ties in with the community, allowing those on the inside to (at least feel) they are superior to others.
And thats pretty much all I can think of writing. If you have any more questions I'll try and answer them in the comments.
Nem
I'd just like to preface this by saying most of the info within (if not all by now) is easily found on the net. Despite some myths and what you may first thing, the scene is fairly open and transparent.
The Scene has been around for as long as there have been ways to distribute digital information to and from people. With odd naming schemes and bizarre collections of rules and regulations they can seem a scary, sometimes evil group of shady people, out to ruin movies and music for us all.In order to really understand what the scene is and what it does we're going to go back to the 1980s. It was here that the beginnings of what would become the scene formed. Groups of young talented coders would crack the security on games and later applications; upload them to a BBS (a primitive version of a web forum) for all to download for free.
At the time there were no rules and no real information for anyone outside of the scene, only the included nfo file (an antiquated file type that is underused now, but is still used for traditional reasons in the scene), which often included stunning ASCII artwork. Also routinely included would be midi files or artwork.It was a much more innocent time, games and apps were traded freely, there was no formal structure and groups ran wild. Slowly however the scene became more organized, rules were drafted and eventually hard Communities were established. Essentially there is one community per "thing" you can imagine downloading, from the Scanner groups, uploading comic pages, to Movie groups. Each community has its own set of rules and regulations both to protect them and to ensure quality releases. As bizarre as it may seem there actually exists committees and tribunals for the sole purpose of working out these rules and declaring releases good or "nuked" (Nuked meaning its trash or breaks one of the rules somehow).
Eventually of course the scene caught the eye of the FBI and other law enforcement and in a series of devastating raids was cut down. Many of the more prominent groups were targeted and taken out. People being People though, the scene quickly grew back to its original size and then some, however the scars from those raids still show, with the scene being much more secretive now than it used to be.
UPDATE: I'll just add everything here, its not a very long update so no point adding another post when there's no point.
Now, the scene is actually also split up into different mediums too. Most of the higher up groups belong to what they see as the true Scene, a series of secert high speed websites (known as TopSites) where files are uploaded and downloaded on a kind of novel credits system, where every megabyte you uploaded allows you to download 3.
"below" these are a series of less elitist groups, refereed to usually as P2P groups, due to the medium of their releases. Occasionally a group will be found of either leaking Scene releases to the P2P groups or even copying releases wholesale. This usually results in humiliation for the group in question. Why a group would leak something varies from group to group, it can range from simply not agreeing with the Scene rules to antagonism between groups.
There are other, less well understood and published groups, such as groups that post only to Rapidshare and the like. These fit somewhere in the P2P groups depending on who you ask.
As you can see, the medium that you download with is tied to where you stand on the hierarchy, with P2P being the worst and the elite TopSites being the best. Your average downloader will never see a TopSite their entire life (I certainly haven't, only in screenshots) and will probably not even know they exist. This ties in with the community, allowing those on the inside to (at least feel) they are superior to others.
And thats pretty much all I can think of writing. If you have any more questions I'll try and answer them in the comments.
Nem
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The Worst Superheroes
Recently I've started to read comic books. I've always loved me some comic characters but never really read them. I started with some more niche ones and have slowly moved into more mainstream ones like Batman, Superman, Spiderman and Alfred Zimmerman (the last one is an exciting romp through the reign of Alfred R Zimmerman, Mayor of Rotterdam during WW1.).I've noticed two things about comics. The first is comic book artists can be much much worse than your usual artists. I'm talking utterly utterly shit. The worst are guest artists, which I assume is Comic Book code for "Korean Outsourced Artists". Its a shame because a book I follow (one I think is pretty aces) constantly has a "guest artist" and it does horrible things to the characters, like Tumor Face-man up there. Poor guy.The second thing, which the article will be about, is that some superheroes are so so shit. Either in their uselessness or otherwise, there are just hordes of horrible useless saps who float around doing whatevs. So many of them Marvel had to get rid of a ton of them a while back with the House of M storyline, which saw the depowering of such incredible mutants as;
- Hanna Levy (Power: Had a second tongue)
- DJ (The most flirty Mutant!)
- And Bugman (Like The Tick but naff)
What I AM complaining about is how 99% of all of these "heroes" are so inescapably awful that I'm fairly certain your average New Yorker has more special powers than these guys.
The worst superheroes however arnt the bad ones. Those guys are just unfortunate. I'm gonna go over 2 of the worst characters in the industry. (more accurately, I'm gonna go over 2 of the most popular and shit characters).
First up is Deadpool. Deadpool is really really shit. Let me start by saying he was good for a very brief period a couple years ago. He had a story arc where he tried to be a hero but failed horribly, much to his own displeasure. It built character, made him more than the WACKY NUTTY MERC WIDDA MOOF, he was even, dare I say, funny back then too. These days hes in every single comic book fighting off monkeys in waist coats. (yes really. upcoming comic he teams up with Spiderman to fight a monkey in a suit)
I'm not a complete cunt, Deadpool CAN be kinda funny, sometimes. But at this point hes a played out joke, old and tattered and overexposed like a 75 year old flasher. Somehow he keeps getting attention. I really don't know why? Maybe its because he's pretty accessable for people who don't usually read comics? Hes this witty fast talking mercenary for hire who will kill anyone. He threatens to kill whoever he wants and everyone treats him like a gigantic badass, even when he just seems like a prick. nevermind, I digress. Deadpool has shitty powers, shitty humour, shitty plots and shitty art. Fuck Deadpool.
Next up is Superman. Superman is shit in the sense that he is the catch all hero that is invunerable to everything and has any power he fucking wants. Superman is so hardcore even his one weakness doesnt hurt him all that much these days. Superman can burn through the earth with his eyes, fly faster than light, punch through the sun and breath fire and take a nuke to the chest without flinching. If he wanted to he'd be able to stop every single super villian in the world with a flick of his wrist.So wheres the drama?How am I supposed to feel worried for Supes' life when I know the one time he died he gained Super-Jesus Resurection Powers, came back and killed the monster thats' whole gimmick was "if you kill me, I adapt and you cant kill me again". 3 times.
This in turn makes most DC comics kinda let down, cause you know no matter how bad the big bad is, Supes could take him, no problem. It aint no thing for superman.
There's tons more. The Green Lantern for one used to be allergic to Yellow. How the fuck do you get through life like that? poor fuckers worst enemy was Mustard.
In closing, Read Transmetropoliton and then stop reading comics forever
-Nems
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